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Google Search Auto-Suggest Funnies

Google search. Oh how we love you, and hate you, and are often surprised by you. If you are a regular Google search user, you have no doubt seen and taken advantage of the suggested autocomplete search entries that appear.

Many of the suggested searches (based on popularity) can be quite interesting and surprising. I collected a variety of these late last year to share in a post. So without further ado, let’s start with the most popular searches that started with “Why do…

You’ll notice that six of the most popular “why do” searches are about our pets, like why do dogs eat poop and why do dogs eat grass (hungry mutts). Unfortunately, those are followed by why dogs lick. Eeww.

When a Google search is focused on people, it gets stranger. Let’s start with the ladies. “Why do women…

There’s a lot of personal hygiene stuff going on up there! It’s funny though that four of the top ten searches are primarily focused down there, in a manner of speak. But I suppose the entry that cracks me up the most is why do women shave. I wonder about the demographic asking that question? Men? Boys? Who knows…

Now what happens when we look at the most popular searches that start with “Why do women like…

Now it’s a lack of shaving (e.g., beards) that hits the top! But seeing this list leads me to fear for the intelligence of the male population. Hey, don’t question why! Just buy the stuff. (Happy wife. Happy life).

This leads me to a related search that is revealing. What do we see when we start a search with “Why is my wife…

Ouch! I feel sorry for the guys who are searching here. “Why is my wife so mean to me? So crazy? So angry? Cold?” Jeezus, I think it’s because those men forgot to buy her flowers, chocolate, wine and a copy of 50 Shades of Grey! But ya gotta love that last entry, right? Hey, I know my wife is awesome.

Before we leave the ladies, let’s look at one more variation. How about “Why does my wife…

I have to wonder what’s going on with that 3rd most popular search? Too much cabbage and beans? But all joking aside, that’s a pretty depressing list of searches by men, wouldn’t you say? At least there’s one glimmer of search-love above (Why does my wife love me). That’s probably a very legitimate question, right ladies?

Turning our attention to the fellas, the popular searches are quite odd and revealing. Let’s start with “Why do men…

You can tell that many (most?) of these searches are clearly being done by the ladies. Understandably, they are wondering why bald guys with beards like women’s feet, snore at night, and also cross dress. No wonder they sometimes pull away! They’re too busy trying on their wife’s dresses!

When we look at what men like, feet make another appearance.

It’s funny that eight of the popular searches above are focused on female attributes or tendencies, while the other two entries are focused on beer and sports. Da Bears!

I’m wondering though if there might be a popular combo search that asks, Why do men like short blonde women with long hair and nice feet who are willing to be on top? (Sadly, such a search doesn’t yield much – I tried).

Okay, okay. How about if we focus on husbands specifically? Let’s look at “Why is my husband…

Oy. It appears that we have a lot of mean, selfish, gassy, angry husbands who are also lazy idiots! This is NOT looking good. I’m also wondering about the ladies who searched for why their husband is ignoring them. Based on previous results, perhaps it’s related to too much beer, sports and a lack of long blonde hair? (I hope that’s not the case).

Similarly to the last search, let’s look at “Why does my husband…

Based on these results, I’m concluding that every household has one prolific farter! (The gender just swaps from house to house). But seriously, I’m also concluding that men are worse than women when it comes to how they treat their spouse. Not good. Not good at all.

Let’s conclude on a funnier note. When people ask Google about themselves, we get these brilliant stunners.

It kinda makes you worry about humanity, no? We have people conducting searches with their hair falling out, while also being worried about their black and green poop, their twitchy eyes and their late periods. It reminds me of that crazy movie from 2006 called Idiocracy (which I thought was both hilarious and frightening at the same time).

Is there hope for mankind? I should probably Google that.


  1. Dennis Blue

    I use Google all day long. I think my curiosity has quadrupled because of the ease of getting immediate answers. I was watching a movie recently and grabbed my phone to Google the name of the lead actress. That search led to another, then another and another. The movie was half over before I realized it.

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