Leviticus 25:44 says: “Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.” Ephesians 6:5 says: “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.” The Bible says it’s A-OK to own slaves — as long as they’re foreigners.
The Bible commanded mass murder of idolaters
According to Deuteronomy 13:12-15, if you find that the people in the city you’re visiting worship another god, you have to kill them all. And by “all”, the bible means everyone in the city. “If you hear it said about one of the towns the Lord your God is giving you to live in that troublemakers have arisen among you and have led the people of their town astray, saying, “Let us go and worship other gods” (gods you have not known), then you must inquire, probe and investigate it thoroughly. And if it is true and it has been proved that this detestable thing has been done among you, you must certainly put to the sword all who live in that town. You must destroy it completely, both its people and its livestock.
Leviticus 20:10 says: “If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.” So, just to be clear, the Bible commands the death sentence for cheating.
Leviticus 20:9 says: “Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death. Such a person is guilty of a capital offense.” The Death Penalty for Unruly Kids? This is what might be called a zero-tolerance policy for bad behavior. On the bright side, your kids will be much better behaved. On the not-so-bright side, a grocery store temper tantrum could result in a death sentence.
Leviticus 24:16 “anyone who blasphemes the name of the Lord is to be put to death. The entire assembly must stone them. Whether foreigner or native-born, when they blaspheme the Name they are to be put to death.” In a passage where God promises blessings for obedience and promises curses for disobedience to the nation of Israel, he indicates that an end result will be being taken over by an enemy nation and it continues in Deuteronomy 28:53 and says: “Then because of the dire straits to which you will be reduced when your enemy besieges you, you will eat your own children, the flesh of your sons and daughters whom the Lord has given you.”
Not a Virgin? Prepare to Get Stoned. Deuteronomy 22:20-21 states: “But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die.” So if your husband isn’t your first partner, you’re in for trouble. Hard, stony trouble to be exact. That’s a high price to pay for premarital fun.
Odd things that condemn you
Menstruation as a sin? (You’re deemed “unclean”). Not only is a woman “unclean” for a week after her period begins, but everything she touches is “unclean” as well. (Lev.15:19). This includes people, beds, seats, clothing — everything. Read Leviticus 15:19-32. This means you can’t touch a woman who is unclean, and worse, you can’t touch anything she has touched. If you lie on her bed, even if you were unaware it was unclean, you become unclean and must wash your clothes and bathe, and wait until evening to be clean.
A wife who tries to help her husband during a fight with another man? Cur her hand off! “If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” -Deuteronomy 25:11-12. Well that’s…bizarre. According to this, wives aren’t allowed to help their husbands in a fight by squeezing the other guys’ “nuts”. If she does, he’s got to cut her hand off.
Rape is a valid way to make a woman your wife
Deut. 22:29 says, “If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay her father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her.”
Women are second-class people
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 states: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.” 1 Timothy 2 says, “A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.”
The God that created you, along with your digestive system, doesn’t want to see your excrement??
Deut. 23: “Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself. As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.” Um, but God doesn’t require the animals to dig ditches for their crap?
Not knowing isn’t an excuse
In case we thought we could get off easy by saying you didn’t know this stuff, well too bad. God says: “if anyone touches an unclean thing… and it is hidden from him, and he has become unclean, he shall be guilty”. (Lev. 5:2) And “If anyone sins, doing any of the things which the Lord has commanded not to be done, though he does not know it, yet he is guilty.” (Lev. 5:17)
Odd Contradictions in the Bible
“For I am merciful, saith the Lord, and I will not keep anger forever.” (Jeremiah 3:12)
“Ye have kindled a fire in mine anger, which shall burn forever.” (Jeremiah 17:4)
“If I testify about myself, my testimony is not valid.” (John 5:31)
“Jesus answered: Even if I testify on my own behalf, my testimony is valid.” (John 8:14)
“And Jesus coming, spoke to them, saying: All power is given to me in heaven and in earth.” (Matthew 28:18)
“the whole world is under control of the evil one.” (1 John 5:19)
And Jesus said, “For judgement I am come into this world.” (John 9:39)
“I came not to judge the world” (John 12:47)
“For God so loved the world” (John 3:16)
“Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” (1 John 2:15) [I’ll concede that the word ‘world’ was translated from different Greek words, but still. Sheesh].
“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 5:16)
“Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:1)
“Jacob said, ‘I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.'” (Genesis 32:30)
“No man hath seen God at any time.” (John 1:18)
We should fear God (Matthew 10:28)
We should love God (Matthew 22:37)
There is no fear in love (1 John 4:18)
Calling Someone a Fool
“But anyone who says ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” (Jesus) Mat 5:22
“You fools!” (Jesus) Luke 11:40
“You blind fools!” (Jesus) Mat 23:17
“How foolish you are” (Jesus) Luke 24:25
“But God said to him, ‘You fool!’ ” (Jesus) Luke 12:20
“You foolish Galatians!” (Paul) Galatians 3:1
“You foolish man” James 2:20
“Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles… If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink… He who rejoices at calamity shall not go unpunished.” [Prov. 24:17; 25:21; 17:5]
“The Lord will rejoice over you to destroy you” [Deut. 28:63]
“The righteous will rejoice when he sees the vengeance, he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked” [Ps. 58:10]
“Blessed are the merciful” [Matthew 5:7]
“Leave alive nothing that breathes. Show them no mercy.” [Deut. 7:2]
“The Lord hardened their hearts… that they might receive no mercy.” [Joshua 11:20]
“I will dash them one against another, even the fathers and the sons together, saith the Lord: I will not pity, nor spare, nor have mercy, but destroy them. A curse on him who is lax in doing the Lord’s work! A curse on him who keeps his sword from bloodshed.” [Jer. 13:14; 48:10]
“I will also send wild beasts among you, which shall rob you of your children.” (Leviticus 26:22)
“Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourself every girl who has never slept with a man.” (Numbers 31:17-18)
“The Lord commands: “… slay old men outright, young men and maidens, little children and women” (Ezechial 9:4-6)
“When the Lord delivers it into your hand, put to the sword all the males …. As for the women, the children, the livestock and everything else in the city, you may take these as plunder for yourselves.” (Deuteronomy 20:13-14)
“You will eat the fruit of the womb, the flesh of the sons and daughters the Lord your God has given you.” (Deuteronomy 28:53)
“The Lord said to Joshua […] ‘you are to hamstring their horses.’ ” (Exceedingly cruel.) (Joshua 11:6)
“… Go and smite the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead with the edge of the sword and; also the women and little ones…. every male and every woman that has lain with a male you shall utterly destroy.” (Judges 21:10-12)
“This is what the Lord says: Now go and smite Amalek, and utterly destroy all that they have; do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, infant and suckling, ox and sheep, camel and ass …. And Saul … utterly destroyed all the people with the edge of the sword.” (1 Samuel 15:3,7-8)
“The people of Samaria must bear their guilt, because they have rebelled against their God. They will fall by the sword; their little ones will be dashed to the ground, their women with child ripped open.” (Hosea 13:16)
“A curse on him who is lax in doing the LORD’s work!
A curse on him who keeps his sword from bloodshed!” (Jeremiah 48:10)
Need more? Check out the Skeptics Annotated Bible.